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We spent the better part of the morning at the Fancy Food Show at New York's Javits Center. Here's what you should know about the Fancy Food Show. It is epic. There are hundreds upon hundreds of vendors and they're all offering samples in the hopes that the visiting retailers and restaurateurs will decide to carry their products. If you are, like us, a member of the press intent on getting as many samples as possible, we would strongly advise pacing yourself. Don't do what we did and start in the Cyprus area and eat every halloumi sample because halloumi is delicious. By the time you get to the D'Artagnan booth, you will be so full that you can barely choke down a piece of duck hot dog and what good does that do anyone?

The samples were beyond excellent, but in the end, what we found most notable about the Fancy Food Show was the glimpse it provided into the American pysche. Take the picture above: busts of Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John McCain carved by the good folks at Sabra Hummus. Are they not terrifying? After the jump...well, in the words of Liz Phair: "Check out America, you're looking at it babe."

Must even our mints be ironic these days? Call us old-fashioned, but we prefer a sincere mint.

The elections were a popular theme. These adorable creatures are from Moonstruck Chocolate.

Seriously, guys? Hummus Clinton is going to give us nightmares tonight. It's the red lips. It looks like Julia Child, if Julia Child were terrifying. Also, why is she even involved in this? She's not a candidate! We would, however, have enjoyed seeing Hummus Paul.

Hummus McCain is by far the best resemblance to the real thing.

Hummus Obama, on the other hand, doesn't look anything like his namesake.

More election goodies, this time from Byrd Cookie Company.

Could there be any less exciting of a concept than this one?

Things our blue-state ass did not know: that NASCAR makes food.

Number one: "Everything I am, I owe to pasta" is our new motto. Number two: if it's good enough for Sophia Loren, it's good enough for us. Number three: this will probably be the only time that Sophia Loren and NASCAR are visually referenced at the same time.

This is the most baffling press material we received all day. Is it in LOLCat? Is it a dirty joke? Either way, do not want.