Shill-O-Meter: Anonymous Pizza
When we tossed you that guide to leaving a MenuPages review on Monday, we figured we'd get some heckly emails from our lively stable of MP correspondents, and we did! It was awesome!
What we weren't expecting was an actual user review that hits every single thing that we told you not to do. When this first popped into the queue, I wasn't sure whether or not it was a joke. I mean, sure, it came 'round within two hours of the post being up. But at the same time, we've had far more ridiculous acts of sincerity come flying at us through the internet. Let's take a look:
(1) I have been working at [redacted] for over a year now and all there food is great. (2) I had use to work for [competition redacted] in Evergreen Park but their pizza just plained out sucked and (3) [the owner] had to be (4) the biggest D Bag around! I enjoy working here with (5) [new boss] and the rest of the family. Not too many people can find a nice family owned pizza shop like this. (6) I would just like to thank everyone that sponseors our pizza. (7) And people makieng negative comments u probably just suck and ur that negative that you have to come on a buisness website and talk smack about them i think that just mean ur pretty foolish!!!
1. You're an employee of the restaurant? Unbiased!
2. You used to work for the competition, who you'll call out by name? Objective!
3. And you'll call out the owner by name too? Impartial!
4. Family-friendly language, thanks.
5. Well at least this full-name shoutout is complimentary. I've run out of synonyms for "unbiased."
6. Shout-out to the little people!
7. Ad hominems! Using txtspeak! For! The! WIN!
Shill-o-Meter rating (on a scale of 1 [chewy crust and flavorful sauce] to 10 [freezer-burned cheese]): 9.3.
If this is a joke, hilarious! If this is for real... I'm speechless.
previously
How To Write A MenuPages Review
Shill-o-Meter: More Cupcakes
Shill-o-Meter: Texas de Brazil
Shill-o-Meter: Between Boutique Cafe & Lounge
