The Hot Dog Method To Finding True Love
Cosmo is a magazine that I try not to read, because whenever I do read it its mindless ministrations get stuck in my head for days and I find myself wondering What Is His Body Language Telling Me about, like, the guy who sells me my coffee in the morning.
So were it not for Jezebel, I would never have found out that Cosmo could not actually care less about His Body Language, and is now really really concerned with What His Hot Dog Toppings Say About Him. Or me, for that matter.
Astonishingly, despite the fact that right there at the bottom in tiny print it reveals that this information comes to us courtesy of Alan Hirsch, MD, of Chicago's very own Smell and Taste Research Center, there is no Chicago dog option.
A better plan: Subtly coerce your loved one over to Hot Doug's or Superdawg, pay super-careful attention to what he or she orders, and then — while your loved one is mid-bite — look them in the eye and say "so, are there any relevant facts about your personality or upbringing that I should be aware of in the course of our relationship?"