Profiling the Michelin Man And What He'll Pick

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Photo: Galdones Photography

In just a few days, a choice will be made that will shape all our futures. No, not that one, the Chicago Michelin Guide will come out! Joe Campagna aka Chicago Food Snob handicaps it and comes to some of the same conclusions we did a few weeks back Alinea alone at three stars, Sixteen to two stars, though he thinks there's the possibility of as many as four two stars (he names five likely candidates in total Sixteen, L2O, Blackbird, Spiaggia and Tru), which seems like more activity than glacially-paced Michelin is wont to engage in. The other interesting speculation comes from Campagna's close reading of the official Michelin Chicago Twitter account, which yields certain clues about the person behind it.

Among other things, Campagna has determined that:

• He is a married man with a sarcastic son and another child.

• The Michelin MAN likes to talk about bread, a lot. Youd think he was obsessed and obviously isnt concerned with gluten or any no carb diets with the amount of bread chatter.

• Its hard to pin down his age because one minute hes thankful for a server showing him the way with a flashlight app and the next he shows his appreciation for Scandinavian death metal. He also knows the scent Old Spice so hes definitely over 40 close to 50 since he knows Brandy was a fine girl.

If restaurateurs really wanted to know who he was, there are enough clues about where he's just eaten that they could pool reservation books and identify him (or a pseudonym). Since at most he's only one of many inspectors, however, there seems little point better to have this bit of insight into the mentality of the guide that, love it or hate it, has such impact on our scene. [Chicago Food Snob]