Kids These Days

A Brief History of Milkshake-Related Mayhem

Not always as delicious as you might think.
Not always as delicious as you might think. Photo: Lew Robertson/Corbis

The other week, after her parents imposed a like, totally life-ruining 10 p.m. Internet curfew, a Sacramento teen decided there was only one thing left to do: Drug her parents by slipping a friend’s prescription sleep medicine into milkshakes. Chocolate and vanilla, to be exact, though the parents only drank about half of each because the drinks tasted crunchy and bad. These unassuming folks weren’t the first, however, to be duped by the seemingly sweet treats. Here’s a look at other frozen-dairy-product-related crime throughout the century, broken down by flavor.

Chocolate
• 1963: The CIA almost killed Castro with a poisoned chocolate shake. The plan was only foiled after the waiter meant to deliver the shake went to get the hidden pill out of the freezer and it ripped open.

• 1992: A woman brought her husband a McDonald’s shake at work, telling him that if it tasted funny, not to worry — it was a protein shake. Turns out by “protein,” she actually meant “insecticide I placed there specifically to kill you.” Convulsions, unconsciousness, and heart and kidney failure ensued, but he didn’t die.

Vanilla
• 1965: A Vancouver man decided the easiest way to leave his wife would be to slip arsenic into her daily milkshakes. The escapade carried on throughout her hospitalization and eventually led to her death.

• 2012: Some thugs in Palo Alto threw a milkshake at a woman, who, in an effort to show who was boss, threw her purse filled with $2,000 in cash right back.

Strawberry
• 2003: After Nancy Kissel had her 6-year-old daughter deliver a sedative-laced milkshake to her husband, she waited for the kids to leave before bludgeoning him to death and rolling his body in a carpet.

Ecstasy
• 2001: A 19-year-old music student in the U.K. died after drinking an “ecstasy milkshake,” which caused the blood supply to his heart to dry up.

Rocklin Teen Accused Of Drugging Her Parents To Access Internet [CBS Sacramento]

A Brief History of Milkshake-Related Mayhem